The birth of Eowyn Kate!

Being pregnant and giving birth during a global pandemic and a time of intense social and political upheaval was an unexpected experience. I am thankful that we went into this pregnancy already planning a homebirth, as we were ultimately able to avoid some of the extra stress dominating the medical community during this time, but I was certainly not unaffected. I spent the majority of this pregnancy consumed by a deep anxiety that I had not experienced previously. Despite the exhaustion that comes from being pregnant while caring for a house full of small children, I was plagued by horrible insomnia from roughly 20 weeks on. I would lay awake for hours as my mind churned obsessively through all of the “what ifs” that I had no control over. As someone who generally has a fairly “go with the flow” attitude, my inability to turn my mind from these obsessions was maddening. I did not feel much of a connection to the baby growing inside me and felt little excitement for her arrival. As I neared my due date I found myself longing for her to come, not because I was excited for labor and ready to meet my baby as I had been with my previous girls, but because I hoped that the hormone rush that comes from birth would allow me to finally be able to sleep. I was never able to get myself into a “birthy” mindset, which definitely played out negatively while actually giving birth. I wish that I had been more cognizant of the deterioration of my mental health during that time and had felt capable of proactively preserving a safe and peaceful space for myself. I mourn the fact that my final pregnancy and birthing experience were marred by such crippling anxiety and that I did not go into my last labor with joyous anticipation.

After several months of being unable to attend in person worship with our church family, the girls and I began attending again in early September. It was not exactly church as we were used to, but it was a blessing to be among God's people again. On Sunday, September 27^th, we went to worship and I allowed the girls to run around outside with friends for a bit after the service. I chatted with friends and had several inquiries of when baby was due and if we had chosen a name. We hadn't completely settled on the name yet, but I did share that we felt pretty committed to continuing the trend of a name beginning with E. By the time we got home I was tired and uncomfortable and didn't feel well. I wasn't sick, but told Mike that I just felt weird and was going to lay down. A trip to the bathroom showed a decent amount of pink mucous, though not enough for me to consider it bloody show. After Eden was born Mike made it clear that he was not interested in being part of another unassisted birth so, in the interest of being proactive, I texted my midwife, Katie, to let her know what I had seen and to muse if labor might be near. She told me to take it easy and keep an eye on baby's movements and to let her know if I needed her. She was already scheduled to come see me the next day. I laid down to rest and was preparing to start a kick count when I felt one long strong contraction. I counted kicks for the next several minutes and waited to see if anymore contractions would come. I felt nothing else and was eventually able to nap for awhile.

I continued having the light bloody show through Sunday night and into Monday, though no real notable contractions. Sporadic painful cramps above my pubic bone seemed to be telling me that baby was not in an ideal position and I lamented not having seen the chiropractor regularly during this pregnancy. As the day progressed I was still feeling off, but I couldn't really describe what that meant. Always looking for something to worry about, I suddenly became concerned that baby could have flipped breech. Katie came in the late afternoon and I asked her to check me to make sure baby was head down. She was, and I was also 2cm dilated. I didn't particularly feel like real labor was eminent, but I also wasn't sure why I was feeling so strange. If this was labor, or pre-labor, it was nothing I had experienced before.

I was so used to not being able to sleep that I didn't even attempt to go to bed at a normal time that night. Instead, 11pm found me bouncing on my birth ball and folding laundry while watching Call the Midwife. I was not having timeable contractions, but I was feeling just generally sore all over. After awhile I began to notice that any time I stood up my stomach became very tight and uncomfortable and would remain that way until I sat back down. There was no ebb and flow like I was accustomed to so I didn't immediately assume this was labor. I decided to take a bath to see if that would ease the discomfort and help me to sleep, but as I lay in the water I finally began feeling the distinct pressure waves I'd been waiting for. I'm not sure how long I stayed in the tub. I was drifting in and out of a very light doze as the contractions came and went, vaguely aware that I had no idea how far apart they were. Eventually I convinced myself to get out and attempt to time them. They were not terribly close together, but they were consistent enough to finally convince me that I was, in fact, in labor.

I woke Mike up around 3am. I turned the TV back on and continued timing while swaying on the birth ball. While I was sitting my contractions were averaging 8 minutes apart. They were strong, but I was getting through them fine. However, any time I stood up and walked around they would come right on top of each other. I told Mike that I didn't really know how far into labor I was, so we agreed to err on the side of caution and go ahead and call the midwife. I called Katie around 3:45am and she arrived 20 minutes later. The intensity began ramping up quickly at this point. I had Mike take my ball into the bedroom for me because I wanted to be more in my own little intimate space, but I remember feeling overwhelmed by how bright the overhead lights were in there, and, at the same time, unable to articulate that it was too bright. I felt uncomfortably exposed, but for some reason I also felt like I needed to be in the bedroom. Nothing felt quite right and I was beginning to mentally cave to the pain I was feeling. Another new feeling for me. “Pain with a purpose” is how I have always motivated myself and encouraged other expectant mothers, but I was losing sight of the purpose.

Mike woke our big girls, Evie and Ellie, around 4:30am, as they had both said they wanted to be present for the birth. At this point my contractions had become considerably more intense and I was having to vocalize through them. I could tell the girls weren't quite sure what to think. Katie asked if I was feeling pushy and I realized that I was and that I didn't want to be on the ball anymore. I moved into the bathroom and onto the toilet. I lamented to Katie that I just wanted it to be over. I felt so much more pain with this labor than I had with my last and I was feeling very mentally and physically wiped out. A moment later my water broke like an explosion and everything began moving very quickly. Katie checked and confirmed that baby was crowning, and, for the second time in my life, I was scrambling to not birth a baby in my toilet. I once again ended up on all fours on the bathroom floor. Katie was encouraging me to go slow and to not push too hard, but I was not in control of my pushing at all. A contraction or two later and Eowyn Kate was born at 4:45am on September 29^th, 2020. She was perfect and beautiful and covered in vernix. She looked so incredibly tiny. I was sure she was the smallest of all of my babies, but when she was weighed some time later it was revealed she was actually the biggest at 8lbs even and 21 inches long!

I had assumed that, like all my previous births, now that the baby was out the pain would end, or, at least, greatly lessen. Unfortunately, pain continued to be a theme this time around. Mike and Katie helped me up and to bed so that we could all dote over our new addition. As I snuggled my newborn I had an awful cramping pain in my tailbone. I knew this was my body working to birth the placenta, but, yet again, it was a new and unpleasant sensation. Perhaps in the past the post birth euphoric hormone rush had simply masked a lot of this discomfort. This time, while I was certainly filled with joy and love for my baby, the euphoria felt thin and weak.

Eden, our toddler, woke uncharactistically early, and came to meet her new sister a few hours after birth. I was unsure how she would react to a new baby in the house, but she was instantly smitten and wanted to hold her right away. The sweetness of my girls with their new sister definitely filled my heart.

The weeks, and even months, that followed were long, stressful, and filled with unexpected challenges. Eowyn's postpartum period was, by far, the most difficult. We struggled with breastfeeding, reflux, and poor weight gain. Eowyn could never be put down to nap, which made caring for her sisters extremely difficult. I felt like I was living in a fog. My maternal instincts alluded me. Why had I not noticed her nursing issues right away? I've nursed several babies. Why couldn't I get her to sleep? I've cared for so many babies, all of whom eventually revealed their needs to me and we were able to develop a routine. Why couldn't I figure out what she needed? There were moments when I looked at my precious baby through a haze of milk soaked exhaustion and wondered why we had had another. We were doing well with 3 and now everything was chaos. I was failing all of my children in every way and I was certainly never going to sleep again. Had we made a mistake?

Looking back, it is obvious to me how the anxiety and likely depression that I had fallen into pre-birth negatively impacted the birthing experience itself. I am also sure it intensified our struggles postpartum. I am so grateful for my amazing midwives who ran to my aid to offer love, support, and resources to help me continue to breastfeed. I owe so much to my husband who did his very best to support me, even when neither of us knew what I needed. And my friends who listened and loved me without judgment were, and continue to be, an immense blessing. Even so, I so wish I had asked for more help. I wish I hadn't tried to hide how I was struggling internally. Even knowing that it was ok to not be ok, knowing that I had people who loved me and would willingly have helped me, I felt like I needed to at least appear to have it together.

Eowyn is now a year old. She is vibrant and happy and such a joy to us all. A far cry from the screaming clingy difficult infant of a year ago. I am beginning to be able to reflect on her birth and first weeks without so much of the choking anxiety welling up. God is gracious, we are very blessed, and I am healing.

The Birth of Eden Louise

After a string of uncharacteristically bad nights with our big girls, I was less than excited to be woken at 5am by contractions. I was annoyed. I still had over an hour before my alarm would go off. I just wanted to sleep! I had been experiencing bouts of fairly intense prodromal labor for over 2 weeks and I was just shy of 39 weeks along. There was no way I was really in labor. I laid still, took deep breaths, and tried to go back to sleep. But the waves kept rolling. Not too close together and not really painful, but fairly consistent.

By the time I accepted that this very well could be the real deal my day was already beginning. I knew the baby I was keeping was likely already on his way to me, and based on how my previous labors had gone I decided I could keep him at least until lunch time. I let my other daycare families know that I was likely in labor and wouldn't be able to keep the bigger kiddos. I told Mike to go on to work and I'd let him know if he needed to come home. As I sat on the couch waiting for the baby to be dropped off Evelyn woke up. Instead of immediately asking to turn on cartoons like usual she sat with me quietly and laid her head on my legs. She knew something was up.

 

As the morning went on I tried to get some last minute things in order. I notified my midwives and doula that I was in the early stages of labor and handling it well and would keep everyone informed. I showered and braided my hair. Ellie insisted on trying to sit in my lap while I bounced on my exercise ball and braided. I ordered groceries and then called my mom to let her know what was happening and ask if she could get the groceries when they were ready. She offered to come on over to help me get ready and I reluctantly accepted. I figured I had plenty of time and didn't want to monopolize everyone's whole day. 

Contractions continued steadily throughout the morning, but I was keeping busy caring for the baby, getting snacks for the girls, and trying to finish up all the little things I wanted to have done. I really really wanted to get the floors mopped. I couldn't sit still long enough to time the contractions and I was so focused on getting things done that as long as I was able to get around fine I wasn't really focusing on the subtle changes in intensity.

What I did notice was that I was beginning to feel anxious and uneasy. I even texted my doula, Mary Beth, that I was afraid I wouldn't get everyone notified in time. She assured me that she was available whenever I wanted her. 

 

A little after 11am I told Mike to come on home at lunch, and he said he would leave work about 12:30pm. I also confirmed with the baby's mom that she would be picking him up around 1pm. I began needing to focus more through the contractions, but they were still manageable.

About 12:20pm I asked Mary Beth to come on over whenever she could. I also updated my midwives that contractions were averaging about 5 minutes apart and I was still able to walk and talk through them. At this stage I felt as though it might only be a few more hours before we met our girl!

Fairly suddenly, as I was hurrying around getting the baby's things ready to send to the back up sitter, I found myself having to stop and brace myself with each contraction. I also kept feeling the need to use the bathroom. At 12:50 pm I called my primary midwife, Katie, and left a voicemail telling her that things had suddenly become much more intense and asked that she call me back when she could. A few minutes later Mike got home and I breathed a little sigh of relief. At 12:56 the baby's mom texted that she was on her way and a minute later my doula texted the same.

A few minutes after 1pm the baby's mom arrived and as she was packing him up she asked how I was feeling. I said that I was doing ok, but that I didn't think it would be much longer. In my mind "much longer" meant maybe an hour or two, but as she was walking out the door a very strong contraction hit that had me clutching the back of the couch for support and I felt my water break. I ran to the bathroom while gasping to Mike to call Elizabeth, our back up midwife. Previous experience told me that water breaking meant baby coming! When Mike got ahold of the midwife she asked if fluid was clear (I couldn't tell) and if I could feel baby moving (I couldn't in that moment), and said she was on her way. As I sat on the toilet I could hear my mom in the other room ask Mike if they should be setting up the birth pool. Meanwhile I reached down and could feel my baby crowning and attempted to communicate that there wasn't time to worry about the birth pool. I looked my husband square in the face and said "She's coming NOW." As my body bore down I realized there was no way I could catch a baby while sitting on the toilet. I fell forward onto my hands and knees, essentially trapping my poor stunned husband in one small corner of the bathroom. I instructed him to put a towel between my legs and told him he would have to catch her. I breathed and tried my best to relax and with one contraction her head was born. A moment later, at approximately 1:12pm, another contraction brought our Eden Louise completely earth side into her daddy's hands! We were all completely in shock and it was a comedy of errors trying to get me righted and my baby in my arms.

I kept trying to call to my big girls, but I was too breathless to make much sound. My little lady, on the other hand, had quite a set of lungs! Mom brought the girls in after a few minutes and Ellie's rather unimpressed reaction was "It loud!" At some point in the immediate chaos Elizabeth called to say that she was on the road and we told her that baby had already made her sudden debut! She went down a simple checklist for us to assess baby, all of which she passed perfectly, and said she would be here soon. Some part of my brain realized that I hadn't had any more contractions and I began to worry about the placenta, though my logical brain knew that there was no need to worry and it would come when it was ready. I sat, still dumbstruck, on the floor cuddling my baby and offering the breast, which she seemed completely uninterested in.

About 10 minutes after birth Mary Beth arrived. She was just as shocked as the rest of us to walk in and hear tiny baby cries. She and Mike helped me up off the floor and into bed, where the placenta immediately delivered itself. Mary Beth brought me yogurt and water, and my big girls finally came to have a real look at their new baby sister. Now that we were in a more comfortable position Eden decided she was ready to nurse and she latched on well right away.

After another 30 minutes or so Elizabeth arrived. She checked us both over and found us to be perfectly healthy. Eden received an APGAR score of 9 and weighed in at 7 lbs 5 oz and 20.5 inches long.

We spent the next hour talking and laughing about the events of the day and marveling at this perfect baby girl. We ordered pizza while Elizabeth filled out paperwork, the girls watched cartoons, and Mike and Mary Beth made sure I had whatever I needed. After picking up groceries for us mom took Evie and Ellie back to her house for a sleep over. Once they were sure Mike and I were comfortable and set Elizabeth and Mary Beth headed out as well and we were alone in the quiet with our new precious bundle.

 

I can certainly say that Eden's birth did not go at all how I had imagined, but once she arrived I couldn't imagine her making her arrival any other way! What a beautiful experience to welcome our daughter together so intimately and then have her immediately surrounded by loving family and friends! Hers has been, by far, my quickest and easiest labor. 8 hours from first contraction to birth (several of those hours I was either in denial or simply ignoring the fact that I was in labor), and no pushing. She knew when and how she wanted to be born and when she decided it was time there was no stopping her! Even a year later I am still in awe of her birth and do thankful for such an amazing experience!

Flats & Handwashing Challenge Days 4: Wash Routine

Alright, so it's technically now Day 6. Naturally, my children would choose this week to stay up late, wake up early, and randomly party throughout the night in between. But, my wonderful, amazing, saintly mother just came and grabbed the tot for the day, the baby is sleeping, and I am reveling in the quiet and my coffee, and I think I may actually be able to finally knock this post out! (Lies! The baby awoke soon after they left and hubby and I spent the day running errands sans toddler, but it was still a nice change of pace!)

The blog prompt for Thursday for was to talk about your wash routine. I actually ended up taking a break from washing and blogging that day, so I'm just running a little behind now. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I washed in my camp washer, but yesterday, since I skipped washing Thursday, I decided to wash in the bathtub to better accommodate the larger load. I also chose to wash in the middle of the day instead of waiting until night time (more on that adventure later). I'll go over my routines for both methods.

I've been going through about 8-10 diaper changes per day during the challenge. Sometimes I use 2 flats for nap time diapers so I'm washing anywhere from 8-12 flats at a time. At the end of the day if any of my covers have gotten poop on them, or if they just smell like pee I toss them in too. (If they still smell ok at the end of the day I just hang them up to keep using them the next day). At least 2 covers have been going in every night. This load size pretty much maxes out the camp washer. Too many diapers will keep you from being able to get proper agitation and the diapers won't be able to get clean enough.

If I'm being honest, I am very ready to get back to machine washing my diapers, Hand washing isn't terrible, but it has been pretty time consuming. I actually haven't done any regular laundry all week because by the time I get the kids in bed and get the diapers washed, rinsed, wrung out, and hung to dry it's been pushing midnight. It's also hard physical work if you're not used to it. Lots of bending over, churning, moving the full heavy bucket around, and wringing things out. Seriously, with the wringing! I now have blisters on my hands from wringing out all of these darn diapers. I've got blistahs on me fingahs! And then they still take millennia to dry.

But I digress. On to the wash routine!

Camp Washer Method

Presoak

Fill the bucket to a few inches above the diapers with cold water. Add a tiny bit of detergent. Do a few plunges to get the detergent mixed in and then let it sit. I've been doing this before bedtime and then just letting them sit until I can get back to them. I'd say they soak for at least an hour. When I do get back to them I'll usually give them a couple more plunges to loosen everything up, then dump the whole contents of the bucket into the tub, lightly wring everything out, and toss it all back into the bucket.

Main wash

Fill the bucket back up to a few inches above the diapers with hot water. Add about 2 tablespoons of detergent. Plung 90 times. Let sit for awhile (I usually use this time for the baby's second bedtime...). Plung another 90 times. Dump again. Wring again. Back in the bucket again.

Bucket rinse

Fill the bucket all the way to the top with cold water. I like to let it continue to run and actually overflow for a bit, plunging the whole time to get the detergent out of the fibers, Dump. Wring. Do this type of rinse twice.

Faucet rinse

I rinse each piece individually under the faucet, wring it out as much as possible, and hang up to dry

Bathtub Method

This really isn't that much different than the camp washer method, just on a slightly larger scale.

Presoak

Fill the tub to cover the diapers with cold water. Add a little bit of detergent. Mix it all around with the plunger or your hands. Let it sit for awhile. Mix it all around again, drain the water, and wring everything out,

Main Wash

Fill the tub back up to about 1/3 full with hot water. Add a little more than 2 tablespoons of detergent. Now get to washing, I didn't count plunges in the tub. I used the plunger and focused on different sections of the tub for a minute or so at a time. I also used my hands and rubbed the diapers together and on the rough bottom of the tub, One thing I like about tub washing as opposed to the bucket was that I could really see the diapers so I could see what spots needed a little more attention. Because I washing during the day while the munchkins were awake I kept getting called away so the diapers got some scrubbing, and then some sitting, and more scrubbing and more sitting. Once they're clean, drain the water and wring everything out.

Rinses

I did the rinses for the tub method the same way I did for the camp washer. Two full tub rinses in cold water and then rinsing each piece under the faucet.

Throughout the entire washing process Evelyn was dying to get into the tub with the diapers. I kept having to remind her that the water was dirty and not to stick her toys or hands in it. She did put on one of my gloves and mix them around some. I did finally let her get in during some of the rinsing. I probably ended up using 3 times the water that I needed because of her "help," but she had fun and that's what matters, right?

Drying

I really really want a clothesline! I have this drying rack which isn't bad, but it really isn't big enough. I prefer to dry outside in the sun to bleach stains and for the airflow, but, naturally, it has rained pretty much all week, After my first wash on Monday night I hung everything up, turned the exhaust fan on, and 16 hours later everything was still damp. Particularly the covers. Talk about frustrating! I reached out to the challenge Facebook group and was advised to to roll the covers up in a towel to get as much excess moisture out as possible before hanging them up, and also to not leave everything in the bathroom because there probably isn't enough airflow. That helped A LOT the next night. They're always going to take awhile to dry indoors, but I was able to find ways to get them usable in a little less than 16 hours.

Every wash routine, whether hand or machine washing, is going to take a little trial and error. I took parts of different routines and found what worked for me. As ready as I am to be done hand washing, I think I've found a routine that would work if I had to keep going. 

And now it's time for me to go and finish up my final hand washing routine!

Flats & Handwashing Challenge Day 3: Diaper Laundry DIY!

Let's be real for minute. This is a lazy post. The kids were crazy today and the baby didn't go to bed until after 10:30. We also weren't given a blog prompt today. But, in the spirit of the challenge, I wanted to post something, so I decided to make a post about some of the DIY projects associated with the challenge.

Camp Washer 

Materials:
5 gal bucket and lid
Plunger
Drill

Step 1: Drill a whole in the center of the lid large enough for the plunger handle to fit through 

I borrowed the drill from my parents and there's a possibility it was used to build the Mayflower. This is a "no-frills" type of power tool, so there is no fancy "large hole making" attachment (see how advanced my power tool lingo is?), so I just used a regular drill bit and carved the best possible circle I could. *Note: After actually using the the washer I decided that the lid was more annoying than useful, so you could skip this step.

Step 2: Drill holes in the plunger

This was more difficult than I thought it would be. That drill weighs about a million pounds and kept slipping all around, but it got the job done. 

And TAH-DAH! 

DIY Splatter Shield

On a whim I just cut off the top and bottom of an empty detergent jug (after rinsing it out really well),  then duct taped the top with the handle to the side, and added a chip clip to hold the diaper to it. It works....ok. The chip clip isn't quite strong enough to hold a super soggy diaper, but it does contain some of the splatter. I didn't pay anything for it, so it is what it is. I do like that it keeps the diaper from flopping everywhere while I spray it.

Day 3 Update

Like I said above, it wasn't the smoothest day. Diapering was fine, but everything else was just out of sorts. And, of course, Ellie pooped as soon as I was done with the diaper laundry. I am overly annoyed by the fact that there is still now 1 diaper in the pail.

Flats & Handwashing Challenge Day 2: Let's talk about the stash! Materials and Cost

One thing that holds people back from trying cloth diapers (aside from the laundry) is cost. Some of the modern cloth diapers cost $25+ a piece! While high quality diapers are an investment, for many families $25 is a lot of money and one single diaper won't get you too far. If this is the only side of cloth diapers you're seeing then it absolutely makes since that you'd feel like your $25 is better spent on a box of disposables. I have a few expensive diapers, and, I'll admit, they're pretty awesome, but, at the end of the day, the purpose is to catch poop.

Here are the official rules of the challenge, and then I'll get into my own cost breakdown. I gave myself the added rule that I would not purchase any new diapers for the challenge.

Materials Allowed

The following diapering items can be used:
• Any flat cloth diaper, store bought or handmade. A flat should be only 1 layer of material for easier handwashing and faster drying.
• 1 night time diaper per night of your choice although you are asked to make flats work for you (this diaper must also be handwashed)
• Doublers (not inserts meant to be absorbent enough to stand alone) if you absolutely must.
• A diaper sprayer.
• Wet bags/diaper pails for storage.
• Handmade “washing machine” for diapers such as the camp style washer
• Non Electronic Portable washing machines (must be powered by you and cost less than $100.
• Commercially available or handmade covers.
• Commercially available or handmade detergents.
• Snappi or other devices for closure.
• Pocket diapers STUFFED WITH FLATS. (note that the potential for repelling on the stay dry lining could make your challenge harder but you can see what happens)
• Homemade or store bought fleece liners.
• Iron (to use in order to expedite drying time or sterilize)
Materials Not Allowed
• Electronic washer/dryer.
• Pockets with inserts other than flats, AIO’s, Fitteds, Contours, Prefolds, AI2’s, etc.
• Flushable liners.

Rules for Everyone

• You cannot use your washer or dryer.
• If for some reason something arises and an exception is made you need to disclose in the Conclusions Survey or on your blog if you are a blogger.
• There is no limit on the number of flats or covers you can use. Should you purchase 100 flats for $100 and go a whole week without washing? No. Use your common sense on this one. As a tip the more diapers in your camp washer/ sink/ tub the harder the washing will be.

For a little clarification, a flat diaper is defined as a single layer of fabric folded in various ways to create a diaper. Flats are awesome because they can be made from anything. Yes, cloth diaper companies sell diapers specifically marketed as flats, but chances are you have some very good flats laying around your home and don't even realize it! Flannel receiving blankets, flour sack towels, and even old t-shirts make awesome flats! Incidentally, I don't actually own a single "official" flat diaper.

Here's the cost breakdown for my diaper stash and washing supplies. I also looked around at some cheaper options you could substitute for some of the things I use.

Flat Diapers and Diaper Doublers

20 flour sack towels (Walmart sells a 5 pack for $4.88) - $19.52
7 Carter's 34"×28" receiving blankets (baby shower gifts) - $0
7 square receiving blankets various brands (baby shower gifts) - $0
3 Hemp Babies doublers (bought used for $3 each) - $9

Total cost for diapers/doubles - $28.52

I realize not everyone has a baby shower or receives gifts for their baby. Receiving blankets are often sold for less than $1 each at thrift stores, and I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find a mama looking to get rid of some on a buy/sell/trade site. (Obviously, use good judgement and be safe if you choose to purchase or sell anything through a b/s/t site)

Diaper covers and accessories

2 Nicki's Diapers one-size diaper covers ($10.95 each) - $21.90
1 Thirties Duo Wrap Size 2 - $12.75
1 Econobum one-size diaper cover  - $11.95 (I got 2 with a BOGO deal, but a friend is borrowing the other one)
1 Blueberry one-size diaper cover (bought used) - $5
1 Flip one-size diaper cover - $9.95
3 pack Snappi diaper fasteners - $11.98
1 bumGenius Outing wet bag - $12.95

Total cost for covers and accessories - $86.48

So, I'm using 6 covers, and, while it's nice that I have options (especially when your baby gets poop on 3 of them in one day), it's definitely not necessary to have that many! In a pinch you could probably get away with 2, though 3 or 4 would give you a little more breathing room. Cotton Babies seems to always have the BOGO sale going on the Econobum covers (2 for $11.95), but if that's too expensive, Gerber plastic pants are about as inexpensive as you can go (if you're buying new). A 4 pack is $6.25 at Walmart. The downside to the plastic pants is that they're sized so you'd have to buy bigger ones as baby grows.

Also, while I like my Snappis, I feel like they're kind of pricey for what they are, and, if I'm being honest, they actually don't work that great with receiving blankets. A pack of 4 diaper pins is $1 at Walmart and may end up serving you better. The small "outing" wet bag is also a luxury that you can easily go without. Plastic grocery bags work just fine, in my opinion. Many people also store their dirty diapers in a diaper pail or a large hanging wet bag, but, because I'm hand washing and washing every day, I'm just tossing my dirties in the bucket that I wash them in so I didn't include any cost for dirty diaper storage.

Washing Equipment (I went with a camp style washer set up)

1 5 gallon bucket - $2.98
1 bucket lid - $1.38
1 plunger - $1.29
1 1.95 gal container of Sun laundry detergent (used for clothes laundry as well) - $7.99
1 indoor drying rack - $15

Total cost for washing equipment - $28.64

I bought my bucket from Lowe's, but then discovered that Walmart's were a few cents cheaper. Also, after my first day of washing I found the bucket lid to be super annoying so I stopped using it. As long as you can wash somewhere where a little splashing isn't an issue (I wash with the bucket in the bath tub) I think you'd be fine to to not buy the lid. I chose Sun detergent because it's one of the cheapest at Kroger and I really love the scent. I've been really pleased with how it cleans my clothes and diapers (hand washing and machine washing). And I'm totally guessing on the cost of my drying rack. I bought it several years ago and can't find anything similar to it online, but I know it wasn't very expensive because I wouldn't have bought it if it were!

Total cost for everything - $143.64

You can see that the bulk of the expense comes from the covers, but it wouldn't be hard to really pare that down. Consider that a box of disposables is generally around $25. The budget for my cloth set up would allow you to purchase roughly 6 boxes of disposable diapers.

Day 2 Update

Ellie was a poop machine today! She's usually a once a day pooper, but I think we ended up with 4 poopy diapers. The diapering is pretty easy, but I got really frustrated with my wash routine today. It took me nearly 3 hours to get everything washed and hung up to dry and that's just not reasonable. I've asked the Facebook group for the challenge for some tips and hopefully things will go more smoothly next time.

{This is technically from a few days ago, but how cute is a receiving blanket on the bum!}

Flats & Handwashing Challenge Day1: Why am I doing the challenge?

This week I'm super excited to be participating in the Flats & Handwashing Cloth Diaper Challenge hosted by Dirty Diaper Laundry. Today through Sunday, May 22nd, Eleanor will be diapered in only flat cloth diapers (no pockets, no fitteds, no glorious AI2s), and all diaper laundry will be hand washed and air dried. Yes, I love my fancy diapers. Yes, I have a perfectly functional washer and dryer. So then, why put all of this extra work?

I originally ran across the information for the challenge while looking up ways to fold flat diapers. We will be vacationing in early June and I plan to take flats because of easy they are to launder, but I don't have much experience with them. I initally chose to participate in the challenge just to get my feet wet. To see if flats would even work for us. As I learned more about the challenge, however, my reasons for participating began to change.

Kim Rosas of Dirty Diaper Laundry began the Flats & Handwashing challenge 6 years ago after hearing that some low income families, unable to afford new diapers for their children, were attempting to "wash" and reuse disposable diapers. Take a step back from "OMG that's gross!" and put yourself in these parents' shoes. Can you imagine feeling as though you have no other option but to put a soiled diaper back on your precious baby?

I live in Kentucky. Our state has the 5th lowest annual income in the United States - a little over $10k below the national average (per the Kaiser Family Foundation). As of the 2012 census, 19.4 percent of Kentuckians were living below the poverty line, and regions of eastern Kentucky are some of the poorest in the entire country. Need is no stranger to my home state. Even with myself and my husband working full time jobs I often found myself standing in the baby aisle at the grocery crunching numbers to see which brand of diapers would give me the best deal and wondering if the lower quality was worth the few dollars savings that the bargain brand offered. I praise God that, while we don't always have everything we want, our little family has never had to make the decision "do we buy diapers or formula for the baby this week?" I know families who have. And it shouldn't be this way. There are options, You can offer your baby a CLEAN diaper even you can't afford the $10-ish per week it would take to keep my 6 month old in disposables full time (we average around 10 diapers every 24 hours and Parent's Choice diapers are $19.77 for a box of 144 size 3s). Even if you don't have a washing machine!

The Flats & Handwashing Challenge means to highlight diaper need and how cloth diapers can meet that need in a truly economical way. I am participating in this challenge in the hope that someone may see what I'm doing and realize that cloth diapering is an inexpensive and effective means of diapering, and that they might be able to breathe a little easier because of that.

Tomorrow I'll be talking about my "stash" and the cost of everything involved. You won't want to miss it!

Not {quite} your grandma's diapers [Part 1]

When I found out I was pregnant with Evelyn I researched EVERYTHING. I wanted to learn whatever I could about so called "natural parenting" - unmedicated birth, breastfeeding, and even cloth diapering. My mother experienced 2 out of 3 births without pain medication, and both she and my older sister had successfully breastfed, but I wasn't close with anyone who had any experience with modern cloth diapers. And, I'll be honest, I never even thought about talking to my grandmother about her experience diapering in the 50's (serious oversight there!)

Wading through all of the information available on the internet about cloth diapers was seriously overwhelming. I read blogs, perused sale sites, watched videos, and even met with a cloth diapering friend to gain a little hands-on knowledge, but ultimately Mike and I decided that being first time parents would be crazy enough without adding one more new thing to the mix. Alas, no cute fluffy bum for my baby.

Fast forward 3 years. When Evelyn was 2 years old and I was newly pregnant with our second sweet babe a very close friend began cloth diapering her new baby girl. Incidentally, this was a friend who had told me I was nuts when I had mentioned considering cloth with Evelyn. She sent me cute fluff pictures and we texted back and forth about the laundering, the prepping, and how much she loved it. My desire to try cloth for myself was revived, and, since I wasn't quite so new at this parenting game anymore, I decided to test the waters for myself!

I began my cloth diapering journey by purchasing a lot of 9 preloved pocket diapers and a whole hamper full of microfiber inserts for $25. These diapers had been through at least 2 other families before coming to us, and it showed. A few snaps were pulling through the inner lining and the waterproof layer of polyurethane laminate, or PUL, was worn and leaky, but I still loved them! Those worn out diapers were my gateway into the exciting (and slightly addicting) world of modern cloth diapers, and I now have at least 1 of just about every type of diaper, I think.

Unfortunately, Evelyn didn't quite share my love. After 2 years of disposable diapers she didn't like the feeling of the extra bulk between her legs or the elastic around her thighs. She would tolerate them sometimes and other times flat out refuse them. I stuck to using them when she would allow and focusing more on how best to cloth diaper a newborn.

{Evelyn sharing her displeasure with the Grovia O.N.E. and crying for a "squishy" (disposable) diaper}

Because Evelyn had been under 7 pounds at birth I didn't anticipate our new nugget to be able to fit into my one-size diapers right away. I registered for and was gifted a few newborn sized diapers and chose to flesh out the rest of my newborn stash with  cheap flour sack towels to use as flat diapers and a few newborn sized waterproof covers. All of these options fit Eleanor well when she was born at 7 pounds 11 ounces, though, to be honest, I didn't really use them that much. I put her in them here and there, but getting used to 2 kids was kind of hectic and draining. Who am I kidding? It is and will continue to be hectic and draining!

{Little 12 day old chicken legs in a newborn sized pocket diaper}

It wasn't until Ellie was about 12 weeks old that I really jumped into using cloth as my main source of diapering. I still use disposable some now, mainly at night because she still wakes often or when I've been lazy with laundry, but she does wear cloth a lot of the time. If there's one thing I've really clung to in this journey it is that cloth does not have to be all or nothing. I'm not failing if we have week in disposables. My kids are diapered, and that's what matters!

I was a little concerned about the laundry in the beginning, but it isn't nearly as bad as it might seem, especially because, up until now, Eleanor has been exclusively breastfed and her poop is completely water soluble so I can toss the dirty diapers straight into the wash with no rinsing. This glorious time is coming to an end now that she's started solid food and I'll have to start rinsing, though. With the amount of diapers that I have I can conceivably go 3 days between washing, but if I do that my load is too big and my diapers don't always come out clean. I found out early on that our HE washing machine (a top loader with no agitator) is not ideal for cloth diaper laundry, but I got some really great information from Fluff Love University and have been able to find a routine that isn't too lengthy and that gets my fluff nice and clean. They are an amazing resource for all things related to cloth diaper laundry!

I heard from many in the cloth diapering community that using cloth is no more difficult than using disposables. As awesome as cloth is, I can't completely agree. If we're talking just diapering, cloth has more steps and takes more time. It's not hard, just not AS easy as disposables. However, if we're going to consider the massive amounts of laundry that constant poopy blowouts create when using disposables then I think it all evens out. There's something immensely satisfying about clean diaper laundry that just isn't there with regular laundry. If it were possible to use cloth diapers and disposables clothes, I would strongly consider it!

{This is my happy place}

Stay tuned! In Part 2 I'll give an overview of the different types of cloth diapers and let you know which ones are my favorites!